he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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