there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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