your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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