When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
