it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
