found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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