youre lurking in front of me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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