im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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