dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize