At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
