i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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