My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
