some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
