He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
