someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize