Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
