I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
