Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
