just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize