he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
