We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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