he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
