Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
