her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
