he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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