she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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