Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
