is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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