Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
