So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
