Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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