you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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