Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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