This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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