Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
