In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
