I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
