Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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