Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize