I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
