Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize