Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
