I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
