Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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