Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
