i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
