Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
