Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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