We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
