What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
