I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
