her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
