dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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