I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
