I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
