No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
