I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
