his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
