Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My feet surprised me
Randomize
