what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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