I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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