Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
