That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
