More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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