We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
