the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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