Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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