As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize