put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
