Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Non-Jews are for practice
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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