lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
